Relationships are like a Dance
I recently stumbled across a video of a swing dance competition performed by partners that were randomly matched, and spent hours watching them. I was amazed with each pair’s ability to perform such an extravagant choreography without any prior practice. Some performances flowed smoothly, while some had moments of disconnection that were quickly overcome. It seemed that the dance was unfolding more naturally when both partners were attuned to each other and there was some “give-and-take” rather than each partner pursuing their line of action. What was impressive about all of them is their ability to adjust, figure out their way, and continue with their performance. Each couple co-created their unique dance.
I don’t know much about swing dance, but these performances resonated with dynamics I frequently work towards with couples in my therapy office.
Adaptability: Dancers adjust their movements based on their partner’s motions and the music rhythm. Similarly in relationships, willingness to adjust and accommodate each other rather than pursue their own agenda allows partners to create an environment of respect, support, understanding, and cooperation.
Communication: Dancers communicate with each other through touch, facial expression, eye contact, gesture, and other forms of nonverbal communication. In relationships, the ability to effectively communicate with the partner is essential to the wellbeing of the relationship and authentic connections between partners.
Trust: Dancers have to trust each other when performing complex elements. In relationships, letting your partner into your world requires trust and vulnerability. It is not an easy task, especially when partners have previous experiences of betrayal or lack of safety in their family of origin or past relationships, but it is possible to shift from past patterns and re-establish safety and trust in the relationship when both partners are willing to work towards it.
Balance: Dance requires a highly developed skill of balance in movements. Relationships require balance between togetherness and individuality, balance between ability to seek support and provide support, and continuous flow of mutual give and take.
Presence: Dancers need to be present and aware of their movements, surroundings, other dancers on the dancefloor, changes in rhythm, etc. In relationships, being present in the moment allows partners to be more attuned to each other and feel more connected.
Harmony: Dancers coordinate their movements to create harmonious performance. Relationships are in harmony when partners are able to connect emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually.
Emotional Expression: Dance is an art form that conveys a story through movement and emotional expression. The ability to openly express experienced emotions to the partner is essential for relationship well-being. Knowing how to express your emotions and how to appropriately respond to your partner's emotions can promote emotional intimacy and deepen a sense of connection.
Practice and Repetition: Dancers spend hours polishing their skills. Similarly, relationships require ongoing practice, dedication, and investment of time and energy for individual and mutual growth.
What similarities do you notice between dance and romantic relationships?
Couples therapy can help you and your partner coordinate your “dance” and experience the joys of connection. Feel free to reach out to schedule a FREE 15-minute phone consultation by contacting me directly at (954) 228-5580 or email me at therapy@drsukach.com.
